After training with Cathy Freeman in the lead-up to an unforgettable race, the British sprinter ran a PB by almost half a second but just missed out on a medal
Olympic Games, Sydney – September 25 2000 – Women’s 400m final , fourth place, 49.79 (PB)
I had an interesting journey leading into 2000 because, after the Commonwealth Games in the winter of 1998, I got injured in one of my first training sessions. The plan had been for me to move up to the 400m hurdles but that injury completely scuppered the idea, so I spent most of 1999 trying to get fit again, get my ankle strong, make the team for the World Championships and use that as a stepping stone for 2000.
When you’re out of the sport, to get race fit is the hardest part so I went through the motions, knowing that I wasn’t at my best, but I had to do it. I wasn’t winning races in 1999 at all. It was just really heartbreaking, sometimes getting beaten up by everybody I should have easily been beating, but I knew where I was at in my mind.
I started out the next year with a different mindset. I was fitter again and then I had the opportunity to train with Cathy Freeman that summer. My coach at the time, Ayo Falola, liked to think outside the box and grab any opportunity but this was all arranged behind the scenes without me knowing. It was definitely a bit of a whirlwind. I learned so much in that time – not only just about how she trained and her work ethic, but also about me as an individual and what my talent was.
My British team-mate Katharine Merry and I trained a lot together, too. We had such a fun relationship anyway but we never spoke about Sydney that whole summer, we just got on with our training, and I think that probably helped her as well, because it alleviated some of the pressure she felt.
Because Sydney wasn’t my first Olympics, I knew what to expect. I knew how to manage the excitement. I had faith in the Australians delivering the Games very well, and they certainly didn’t disappoint. We had a holding camp in Brisbane, and that was fantastic. Everything was just going according to the plan and, seeing Cathy at the Games themselves, in the call room, we just were like any other time. There was always that deadly silence in the call room, where there was a lot of tension, but we had that level of respect between us, which was great.
However, I wish I’d had Cathy’s ability. I was definitely in the best position I could have been in, because I’d been with her all summer, but I didn’t use that to my best advantage. I did try to run my race and through the rounds I had lanes seven and eight, where I couldn’t see anybody anyway, which I loved.
The semi-final was horrendous, and it poured down with rain. I couldn’t believe it when the heavens opened. With being battered by the rain and not knowing where I was, being in one of the outside lanes, to qualify was such a relief.
I ran personal bests in the heats, semis and final, and I think I did not realise how fit I was. The improvement in my training felt good, but I didn’t even take that on board. I just took one round at a time and then, when I got to the final, that’s when it blew my mind. I still kick myself to this very day because, in a way, I would have loved to have been in lane seven or eight again. Having lane two and seeing everyone, which is a dream for many 400m runners, was the opposite for me. My mindset played havoc with me in that final and, unfortunately for me, it didn’t work out.
I felt fresh and I felt strong as I crossed the line. That’s the one time I wished a race had lasted 450m. Knowing that Cathy had won gave me that sense of pride and happiness but, on the other side, I was devastated. The results came up on the screen, and it was me and her looking up at it. I congratulated her, because she had glazed over. For me, though, it was definitely a bittersweet moment.
I felt that I’d not only let myself down, but my coach Ayo too. He had so much belief in me and he knew what I was capable of but, at that moment, I didn’t. It was heart-wrenching. Katharine got the bronze and I was happy for her, but I wanted it to be me, and that’s the frustrating thing. The thing is, if I’d been happy, then I wouldn’t be a world-class athlete but it was my first time breaking 50 seconds, making the final, coming fourth. You have to take the rough with the smooth and I had to get back on the track for the relay so I had to pick myself up very quickly.
I was convinced, with me and Katharine having come top four, we were in with a shout in the 4x400m. It got me up again after the individual. I was like: “We can do that. I’m going to get a medal.” So it was a double whammy when we came sixth. As a team, we all felt that disappointment.
But I’m so grateful I was part of that 400m final. My family always reminds me: “You were in the iconic race”. It has gone down in history, and I am so honoured and grateful that I was a part of it. I’m also thankful to Cathy Freeman and her team for allowing me to be part of her journey.
As told to Mark Woods
